My Story

My Story

I have always wanted to be free and even changed my name to Free so that I could really be. I have been helped by lovely people who have validated that I was being abused and supported me. These are survivors on email lists, counsellors and friends I’ve known for many years.  I am just coming out of a bumpy time and hopefully I am free from the strings and manipulation the cults did to me.

I finally escaped the cult in August 2008. I had come back to Australia to get help and deprogram. I was living at Malaysia and Indonesia and was lied to that I “was free”. In fact I was deployed by the cults in conjunction with government espionage agencies to spy on Muslim people. I was non consciously avoiding this deployment by going to areas the government espionage agencies didn’t want me to go to. I realised however that I needed to be back at Australia and still not accessed by the cults. I needed familiarity and counselling, and to not go near Brisbane or Wollongong where the ex handlers were. I went to Perth and got medical help such as anti depressants and counselling to stop the programming, accessing and deployment. I also had two email lists to help me. This is where I am at now.

Going back to the beginning, recovery started in 1992 when I was validated about ritual abuse by three ritual abuse survivors in an incest survivors group. This was at Wollongong the main area of the abuse. I quickly became a survivor. I left work as a teacher, and got counseling support. I was going to every support group, talk, etc that I could on ritual abuse at both Wollongong and Sydney. I did stories with the local newspaper The Illawarra Mercury who were very supportive. I also did a talk with Trish Goddard, a television interviewer, on her Channel Ten Health Show about ritual abuse. I also did an interview on the local ABC Radio Breakfast Program on ritual abuse.

My story was also included in the ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse) book on surviving abuse called “Breaking The Silence”. My story as a ritual abuse survivor was included in the “Going Public” and “Confronting the Perpetrator” sections. I wrote about confronting the perpetrator – the father, and about going public as I had spoken to the media and went to the NSW Wood Royal Commission into the Police Service (1994-6). The Wood Royal Commission was very important in two ways. Firstly, ritual abuse was raised officially within a major government investigation, and secondly the Commission did not dismiss it but said that it could happen as “psycho-sexual murders of children had been known to exist” and ritual abuse was similar. I was also published in a U.S. anthology of Ritual Abuse Survivors Stories called Breaking Ritual Silence by Jeanne Marie Lorena and Paula Levy. The article is called “Joyous, Humble and Thoroughly Outraged” and this is how I feel about the cults/govt and escaping.

However, unknowingly and annoyingly I was still being non consciously mind controlled at Wollongong. In the mid 1990s the handler (the main mind controller and programmer) at Wollongong promised me “freedom” if I went to Brisbane. I non consciously trusted that handler and I thought I was “escaping”. I didn’t know that I was still being mind controlled and was not conscious to the abuse. Between Wollongong and Brisbane the Wollongong handler passed me over to a new handler in Brisbane. The new handler cajoled me that I would be “safe in Brisbane”. HOW ANNOYING IS THAT! This new handler also lied that she was a “good person”. I now realise what the cult wanted. They wanted to stop me from doing more recovery, telling my innocent family about the abuse, and doing public education about ritual abuse. I was on television, in the newspapers and on radio speaking out against ritual abuse. SADLY AND ANNOYINGLY I WAS PROGRAMMED SO MUCH THAT I WENT TO BRISBANE FULLY UNAWARE OF BEING FURTHER ABUSED.

The HANDLER IN WOLLONGONG SENT ME TO ANOTHER HANLDER IN BRISBANE. There I was tortured and reprogrammed again. They abused electricity, hypnosis, drugs and other torture. They abused videos that had preplanned and designed scenarios of deliberate setups that produced loss, no choice and loyalty to them. She and other perpetrators non consciously reprogrammed me to be blindly loyal to the organization and do what they wanted. They particularly abused me for military stuff. I was sent to Townsville and Toowoomba to relay military information, and then overseas to Lithuania, Spain (Barcelona), Indonesia and Malaysia to both pass on information and to observe people for social information. IT MAKES ME ANGRY! Thankfully as I said I was able to stop most of the deployment in Malaysia and Indonesia and come back to Australia to live and deprogram. I live now in a safe place with twenty four hour protection.

I was abused by various cults, and the main one was satanic. The cult’s abhorrence was determined by the cult leaders which were plainly twisted and megalomaniac. Its hard to call them who as they are worse than animals. Animals have more respect for other things than cult leaders and members. All the cult members are detestable and how they can face an afterlife is beyond me.

The ceremonies are these dark, morbid things that have no value whatsoever. They drain from the earth rather than give anything to it. The closest thing to it are battlefields of war and animal slaughterhouses. The ceremonies are in a way a war against humanity. The cult members and leaders do ritual abuse because they horribly hate people. It’s more than despising. It’s an actual hatred of life. They could be jealous of people being happy and living, but it’s hard to say what their motivation is. They worship death is the only answer I can think of. And it’s very different from being thankful for people who have died in wars in order to defend ones country. This is the actual worship of the death of someone or an animal. It is actually very nonhuman. Humans do not have this belief naturally. Our lives are about sustaining life.


Here’s a shortened list that states the years and places of the abuse. It also lists the type of abuse e.g. ritual abuse, govt mc, etc, and also a subheading of the type e.g. Baal "worship", medical experimentation, couriering information, etc.

1958 - 60 was born in 1958 at Bourke and don’t think there was any abuse until 1960

1960 - Bourke, NSW - the old man, his sister, and his father (deceased) first started torturing and sexually abusing me. (Before this the old man went to Bourke from (Sydney) to find a programmable wife (my Mum) and bring her back to the east coast.) His sister and father travelled to Bourke to start the programming process with him.

1960-64- Abuse in the Gerringong, Kiama, Werri Beach and Gerroa areas. The old man moved me and Mum to Werri Beach. My brother was born in 1964.
Mum, my brother and I were abused horrifically at Satanic ritual abuse ceremonies. Mostly at a church on the South Coast of New South Wales. I’m not sure if it still being abused but it mostly certainly was in the early 1960s. Was also abused by a Nazi worshipping cult in this area.
The programming was very intense during this period where I was raped horribly at the ceremonies, and was starved and abused at perpetrators’ houses, mostly farmhouses. Was abused for child pornography.

1964- 75 Abused in the Illawarra area. The old man moved the family to the cults and govt mc perpetrators of the Illawarra.
Cults included Satanic, Nero "worshipping", Baal "worshipping", and Masonic "worship".
Was abused at many different places in the Illawarra including hotels and many farms dotted around southern Wollongong, and Mt Kembla. This was ritual abuse of all types, but mainly satanic.
Was abused by many pedophile groups and in the suburb we lived which was Berkeley.
Govt mind control started by govt perpetrators. Was trained in military and espionage, and in theft in order to steal jewellery from rich homes.
Was abused by staff at two schools at Berkeley: Berkeley High School and Berkeley West Primary School.
Was abused by a doctor for medical and government experimentation.
Was abused at the grandfathers house at Chester Hill at Sydney on most weekends and also at a military barracks in southern Sydney. Here they would program me to be observant, to be a courier of information and to be militarily minded.

1975-78 - went to university at Armidale - University of New England. Was abused mainly for govt stuff such as observing the political "unrest" of students, and to courier drug, military and espionage information between Armidale/Tamworth and Sydney/Wollongong.

1979 - Went to University of New South Wales at Sydney and was abused for drug production and couriering information between Sydney and Wollongong concerning political affairs, espionage and military.

1980-81 - Went to New Zealand and taught at a high school there. Was abused as a courier for information between Sydney and Auckland, and to gauge the level of Maori "unrest" as I was teaching in a mostly Maori community.

1982 - 96 Mainly abused by government perpetrators in Wollongong to observe Aboriginal communities for the level of "unrest". Was also abused at ra ceremonies and as "the adult" for child pornography. Was also abused to courier information within Wollongong and also to produce illicit drugs. Main abuse was for assassinating asylum seekers on govt perpetrator navy vessels off the NW coast of Australia. The govt perpetrators didn’t declare them to the news agencies or any other public institution. I was also taken to the Solomon Islands and had to assassinate people trying to reclaim their land from big mining companies on the islands.
In between this in 1983 I was sent to an isolated Aboriginal community in the Northern Territory to observe tribal Aboriginal "unrest"

1996-2000 was taken to Brisbane by programming and retrained for couriering of information globally and to attend mostly SRA ceremonies but also American holiday ones such as Thanksgiving.

2000- 2008 was sent overseas. First to Lithuania and the Basque area of Spain. Then to Indonesia and Malaysia. In June 2008 I realised that I was still being abused even though it seemed weird that I was on isolated tropical islands at Malaysia. The perpetrators were abusing me to observe Muslim "unrest".
I came back to Australia and got therapy and I hope I have stopped accessing and deployment.
I’m pretty sure I have this time.


Artwork

Ive also included artwork that Ive done on ritual abuse and sexual abuse. To get back to the main page you need to use the “go back” button on your browser.

Expose Ritual Abuse This poster is about the importance of telling the world.

Break Free From Memory This one is about breaking free by working on memories.

One in Three Children Are Sexually Assaulted It is important to know that child sexual assault is widespread.

Mental Illness Equals Trauma Survivor Mental illness does not exist in a vacuum. There are reasons why people are mentally ill and it is because of trauma, usually childhood trauma.

Hearing Voices Means Brainwashing. Hearing voices is not an unnatural occurrence. There is a reason for them. Either they are brainwashing (programming) memories or parts of yourself talking.

Surviving CallbacksThis one is about surviving callbacks and how there should be a media news segment about it. Thousands of people survive cult/organization callbacks all the time and the media should be telling people about it.

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