Deprogramming is when the survivor doesn’t allow the programmed cued behaviours or system to work. The survivor does not respond to programmed demands.There are two main aspects to deprogramming. The survivor either is coping with it and not allowing it to happen, or is undoing it so that it can’t happen again. Coping is when managing the programming so that the survivor doesn’t do as the cult and handler demand. The survivor copes with the pain and lies and is not drawn into doing what the cult and handler want. For example, not being accessed. Undoing is when the survivor deals specifically with the programming and goes into the memory of programming torture and lies and stops it at its source. Coping does not mean stopping the programming at its source and it can occur again. It means managing it so that the cult and handler do not control the victim for the time being. Undoing means stopping it altogether so that it will not affect the survivor again. We cope or undo depending on how much energy and time we have. During a callback we are more stressed and more inclined to cope. During easier times between callbacks there is more time and energy to work on the torture and lies of the programming and therefore stop it at its source.
Deprogramming is natural, and victims/survivors continue doing it until the programming does not have any power. We are naturally getting rid of programming as it is lies and torture and our psyches do not want horrible things. We will try and get rid of control and unpleasantness within us. We were born good and so we will naturally get rid of anything horrible in ourselves. Even before knowing s/he is a survivor/victim, getting rid of programming can sometimes be subconscious to the survivor/victim and all s/he knows is that s/he is in a lot of pain. S/he can be laying awake at night not knowing that the blackness s/he feels is actually memory of programming or the cult’s activities. Even as a survivor/victim s/he maybe be depressed and under the cult delusion that “nothing is wrong”. In fact s/he is still being accessed and deployed but is tricked at a very deep level that s/he “is safe and not being abused”. This happened to me for about six years and then realized that I was still being abused.
The cult/organisation has to continually reprogram in order to ensure that the programming remains. If we were to completely stop contact with the cult and handler the programming will run out by itself. As a conscious survivor we can be more aware of the programming and if we are also being currently reprogrammed. Being aware of programming we can understand it more clearly and stop it more effectively.
Two Forms – Coping and Undoing
As said, there are two main aspects to deprogramming and that is coping with it and undoing it. Coping is dealing with the pain and lies so that the survivor/victim is not affected by the programming. The programming may resurface later but for the moment it is put aside and not directing the persons life. Undoing is going back to when the programming was put in and stopping the handler and the cult from control. It is stopping the programming at its source so that the survivor won’t suffer from it again.
Choosing to cope or undo the programming usually depends on the degree of the programming, the survivors normal day to day life, her/his responsibilities, awareness of how much s/he is being abused, and how much support s/he has. It basically boils down to how much energy and time s/he has. When there is time, energy and/or support for undoing programming the survivor will undo it. When there is only energy and time for coping with programming, then s/he copes. Also a survivor in the initial stages of recovery also knows less about the programming. When understanding what it is s/he can stop it better.
Coping with the programming
Coping usually happens when there is a lot of stress such as with callbacks and disclosure. For example, the programming behaviour to self harm comes on horribly as the cue of disclosure is set off. There is usually too much pain to go into the memory and stop it at its source. Its best to cope especially in stopping memory flooding. Coping is basically taking your mind off the programming behaviours. To put the harmful thoughts aside and concentrate on something else. If one take her/his mind from the programming and does something else s/he has stopped the programming from having effects. Even concentrating on cooking dinner will take your mind from programming. Coping is putting it at bay or aside.
If it is too overwhelming do not be tempted to go back to the violence and torture of the programming setup. See it as a memory and back in 1962, 1975, 1983, 1998, 2001, etc. It is a different year now. Be in your current age and know what day, month and year it is. This is especially very important for young parts who are very scared. Being in your current age person is especially important for younger parts as they know then that an adult survivor is in control.
Again these are ways of coping from a ritual abuse survivor magazine from the 1990s in Australia called Beyond Survival.
Breathe. Breathe deeply and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep eye contact with something such as your pet.
Make a list of your reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your friends to read out to you when needed.
Be safe and warm. Put a blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet.
Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a walk. Whatever works or feels right for you.
Write in a journal.
Ring a friend.
Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You are good.
Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong person you are.
Ring a crisis number and talk to them.
Undoing the Programming
Undoing means going back to where the programs were put into place and stopping the violence and lies so that you/the survivor will never be affected again. This means doing a kind of "rewind of a video" in your memory and controlling how you will get rid of the violence and the real perpetrators and free yourself from the lies and binds (sometimes double or more binds). Use whatever techniques you/the survivor want in this. This was violence that you had no control over then. Now you/the survivor can and do whatever you/the survivor wants. Its best to undo programming when there are periods of less stress such as between callbacks, but if the survivor needs to undo programming to stop the cult such as stopping accessing and has the time and energy then this can be done.
Deprogramming is basically going back to where the lies were put in with extremely violent torture. This generally means bringing yourself back to a more grounded way of being. In psychological/ medical terms it is "associating the experience". You/the survivor was forced to dissociate or float off and space out in order to cope with the despicable horror of what the cult/organization did to you. With a lot of dissociation comes the formation of a separate personality part. (Please see the following multiplicity and personality parts). Some common methods are child rapes, spinning machinery, electrocution, deprivation of food, hanging upside down, moving the person towards a revolving saw, putting a knife in your throat, suspending them in air by a cage or a harness, etc. They also all involve drugs and hypnosis. The cult/organization then further abuses this dissociation and personality part development by tricking the part into a lie that they "owe the cult/organization". A handler lies that s/he was not aware of the torture and pretends that s/he is “saving” the survivor. The victim is caught between a horrible life/death scenario or be “saved” by this devious and deceitful handler.
When rewinding the video it is important to remember all the aspects of the programming. Where you were put, what images they were abusing, where are the perpetrators and how the handler is also one of the perpetrators. You could be put in front of a tv screen, or in a staged play in an auditorium, have your head dunked at a river, be suspended in a cage, etc. The perpetrators will play out a scenario that set ups a life/death situation.
These usually involve friends and family and are called the “loved ones”. They could be there in person or fabricated as such. If there in person the friends and family can be programmed so that aren’t aware of where they are and are innocent. If they know that they are there they are perpetrators. In my programming my mum, brother, sister in law and nephew were all non consciously programmed and didn’t know they were being put into this scenario. The father knew and is a perpetrator. The friends and family can also be fabricated by being on screen images or perpetrators acting them in a staged play. The friends and family are not there at all and the cult uses fabricated versions.
The scenario is a setup where you have no choice but to harm/kill. The only other “option’ and which isn’t an option is that you will die. You have the right to save yourself as it is self defence. This is morally and legally fine. If someone is “killed” then it is because you have the moral and legal right to do so. You have the right to protect yourself. You also have the right to stop the programming scenario. You can take away the cords to the television and turn off the screen, you can bring yourself down from the suspended cage and you can stop yourself being drowned. Use your imagination in stopping these. Eg you can call in a tractor to lower the cage, call in the police or someone who is protective to stop the drowning, etc. When the handler lies that “s/he saved you” you can be angry at her and call her a liar. He or she is just another of the perpetrators who knew and organized the setup in the first place. He or she is a not a “saviour”. You can tell him/her angrily to get away and say no to his/her lies. It’s all a setup and you have every right to stop this horrible memory. You did not want to be at the programming setup and it was all a setup in any case. Be angry at the perpetrators.
Be rightously angry until all the control has gone. You may feel like a floppy puppet who has cut the strings of control and this is a good thing.
There are as many versions of this setup as there are situations which the perpetrators wanted to abuse you by. They could abuse specific family and friendship relationships eg a relationship with your nephew. They could abuse any physically and psychologically painful situation that their devious and murderous minds can imagine. The extremely important thing to see is that it is always a setup. An attempt to cause pain, particularly suicidal guilt in a seeming no win situation, and then exploit this pain to act as “saviours”. The perpetrators, especially the handler are not saviours. He or she is a devious and extremely harmful perpetrator. You did not want to be at the programming sessions and have the right to say no to all the setups.
Early Stages of Deprogramming
Deprogramming, especially coping, is needed a lot in the initial stages of recovery. The survivor is hit with heavy programming about remembering, escape, disclosure, not being accessed and reprogrammed, and not being called back to the ceremonies and other activities. The survivor feels like s/he is in constant pain, finds it difficult to do normal things, suffers from insomnia, etc. Also most survivors are usually being accessed and deployed when first in recovery. Survivors/victims are accessed on a periodic basis, reprogrammed on a periodic basis, and deployed in the cults’ activities and ceremonies. The programming system will sit there with all of its names, cues and commands just as it did from when the survivor/victim was first programmed.
It is best to cope with the pain as much as possible. The survivor can use anything that s/he will be of benefit to her/him. This includes ringing telephone counselling lines, having a relaxing bath, anger work such as throwing things at a picture of the perpetrators, writing, going for a walk, etc. It is important to remember that the programming is not the fault of the victim/survivor. S/he did not want it and so s/he should not blame him/herself for it. S/he can do whatever she thinks will stop the pain and get as much true support there is.
Stabilised Periods of Deprogramming
Over time with recovery the survivor will have stabilised periods of recovery. These are mainly between callback periods such as Beltane (May 1st) and Halloween (October 31st) for Satanic Ritual Abuse survivors. Also with time the survivor begins to understand the programming more clearly. For example s/he understands why the accessing programming is there and works on it to stop the accessing. S/he has also dealt with the pain and knows how to battle them. The programming setups also emerge from memory, and the survivor can see and understand what they are and why they were abused. S/he can work on them and stop the setups and lies.
When not being accessed and reprogrammed the survivor can also work more freely on stopping the system from being abused. When being accessed it can be very difficult for the survivor/victim as s/he feels like s/he is running against the clock. The accessing program (and the following reprogramming) is forcing him/her to return and she is battling this program. It is important to address the accessing program especially and either cope with it, or even better, to undo it. When not being accessed, reprogrammed and having no callbacks for cult ceremonies and activities, there are long periods when the survivor/victim can address programming and also undo it.
After some time of adjustment to dealing with the programming, the survivor works out ways of deprogramming that are second nature. Once adjusted to memory work, coping, etc, the survivor isn’t so frantic and can approach deprogramming in a more stable way.
S/he will start to see the setups and be able to undo them. They will collapse like buildings and not be able to stand. The survivor will also feel that the ropes, that controlled like a puppeteer’s, will be cut and stopped.
Programming and deprogramming can be understood. Programming is never acceptable, but is similar to all indoctrination. Everyone is indoctrinated into something whether it be conditioning about class, gender, etc. These are also based on violence and lies. Working class men are conditioned to be aggressive by violent sports and lies that they are “powerful”. Working class women are conditioned by violence that they be “submissive”. Ritual abuse programming is also a form of indoctrination and conditioning. It is on a societal continuum of indoctrination. As the criminality is extreme so is the indoctrination process. The cult want victims that are totally controllable and completely do not know of the abuse. Victims are indoctrinated with horrific torture and lies, and forced to dissociate so that we do not know of the abuse.
As with any conditioning, programming also runs out after a while if not reprogrammed. Personalities will see that the handler and the cult are all liars and torturers, and will not act out the behaviours. They will come over to the survivors side when they understand this. They will stop any falsely derived loyalty. The intensity of the violence and lies also lessens over time. The cult will try and stop this natural process by reprogramming, and this is why the survivor/victim especially needs to stop accessing. There can also be programs that are built in and which continue the programming within the person ie with no outside accessing, and this too needs to be addressed. Personalities are lied to that the victim/survivor is him/herself ‘the enemy’ and have to ‘rebuild the programming’ in order to ‘help’ the handler ‘maintain beneficial control’. The personalities have to see where there has been deprogramming and “patch it up so its brand new”. Also when being accessed the handler can threaten parts to “rebuild the system”. If they don’t do their job the handler will punish them. This is another reason to stop accessing.
As said deprogramming is natural. Ones psyche doesn’t like lies and horribleness being in ourselves and will do everything to discharge it. The cult programming is one of the most evil things a criminal organization can do and so the mind and body will get rid of it naturally. As it is a particular type of horribleness, we need to address how it was placed there and address the specific concerns. These being the style abused such as a spinning machine, the enormity of the lies ie that “you killed someone”, “I (the handler) saved you” and “you must obey me and the organization at all costs”.
Its also important to look at the important areas of the programming and do the opposite. The perpetrators, including the knowing and organising handler, force the victim to dissociate into a personality by various means eg drugging, electrocution, etc. It is therefore important to associate or ground oneself so that the dissociated part isn’t under their control by the means of dissociation. One needs to remove in ones memory anything that causes dissociation. It is then important to stop the lies. These are that “you wanted to kill someone”, that “you are evil”, that you are “one of them”, etc. The reality is that you didn’t want to kill but were forced to in order to save yourself. Saving youself in self defence against someone murdering you or has been told is murdering you is morally and legally correct. You/the survivor needs to see the truth. This will also help with associating or bringing back the cult controlled part back to you where s/he rightfully belongs. The lies that “you owe the cult” or “we saved you” are shown again to be lies and you have control of yourself. You originally had this and you are simply getting rid of the torture and lies, especially the loyalty, and being yourself again.
Each of us copes and undoes programming his/her own way. People have individual interests and strengths. Some people enjoy looking at psychology and how the mind works and go into the intricacies of brainwashing. Some people use the media and public education to get rid of their anger against the cult and its programming. Other survivors see themselves as a community of personalities. There is no one or right way to deprogram.
For example this webpage is from a survivor who makes online collages to remember what the programming is more clearly and then undo it. We are forced not to use the usual ways of remembering and noting what happened such as writing with our normal hand. But there are other ways we can use such as singing songs that remind us of the programming information and writing with our non dominant hand. In this webpage Grace makes collages online to indirectly, but still successfully, remind her of the programmers, the style of programming, what its intentions are, etc. It is very ingenious. http://graceartjourney.blogspot.com/
A personality thinking that only the rest of the personalities will die
A survivor needs to consider an important aspect of programming and which can be very beneficial to know. A personality who is following orders from the handler and thinks that the survivor should be dead also believes that s/he “will be saved when the person dies”. S/he is lied to by the handler that he/she/it "will live" after he/she kills off the victim. This is not the truth. When a person dies, god forbid, the whole person really dies which includes all of the personalities including the personality who “will be saved”. The personality needs to see that when s/he has seen dead bodies in the past the whole body dies and this is the same for the personality. The personality will die exactly the same as the other personalities. There is only one heart for the whole body. Each personality does not have an individual heart and mind. When seeing this the personality usually comes over to the survivors side and does not commit suicide.
Disruption between personalities
Multiple victims/survivors have programming which deliberately abuses multiple personalities in the survivor. By being multiple, the cult/organization thought it could have more parts "to play with" and attempt internal disruption. There are deliberate conflicts made between personalities. They can be based simply on what colour they are coded eg blue personalities versus red. Or the handlers can make one personality stop other personalities from seeing the truth. Deprogramming sometimes can be difficult when there is internal disruption. The survivor needs to allow the personality to say what the truth is and at the same time stopping a belligerent personality from causing conflict against another personality and the victim her/himself. Sometimes deprogramming means both addressing a personality and at the same time seeing the whole system. One part may have been lied to and which is contaminating the whole system. The survivor needs to explain to the part lied to that there is a lie and reassure everyone else that the survivor and the personality won’t accept the lie. It means looking after everyone.
When the perpetrator is a woman
The cults/organisations have female perpetrators. They are conscious and deliberate perpetrators which will torture, program, revel in the ceremonies and be leaders of the cults/organizations. Two of the cults I was abused by were led by women and they were despicable, evil infested perpetrators. Most of the handlers who tortured and programmed me were women. I have a feeling women perpetrators abused the status of women to further inflict pain and mind control. We supposedly aren’t allowed to hit women, react against them and only feel sorry for them, but these perpetrators deserve the same resistance and stopping as any perpetrator. Fight back and kill off the woman perpetrator in the memory just like any perpetrator.
Basic Considerations of Deprogramming
There are very important basic considerations in deprogramming. It is beneficial to have these either before you start and/or during the process.
An unaffected personal space in your/the survivor's mind. You/the survivor needs to be in a personal space that is relatively free from the cult/organization's affects. To see the world from a relatively unaffected view or stance. This is important for a reference point. In times of stress or even generally, you/the survivor have somewhere to come back to that is your own. It is also important for rationality ie a viewpoint which questions whether something makes sense and is rational. It also has some sense of objectivity. The programming can be seen from an unaffected view. Also from here you/the survivor can observe and work on the programming. If you/the survivor are ever in trouble with deprogramming such as going around in circles, going nowhere or there is a "snag", you can come back to this unaffected space. The most important thing is that you can separate yourself from the cult/organization. You will be able to relate outside a cult/organization context and mind set. You can relate to other survivors, friends, therapist, and the world generally, etc. It can also be your end point as when you/the survivor unravel the programming there should only be this unaffected place.
We all have the ability to get this free space. The human spirit is indestructable. For example, people who have been in concentration camps for many years have come out with their lives and thinking intact. If in doubt that you have this free space, do the following exercises. A good exercise is to do something of your own free will which the cult has stopped you from before. This could be surfing the net on ritual abuse, talking to your counsellor about ritual abuse, staying inside on a day being accessed so that you don’t ring from a public phone, etc. Other ways of finding this inner peaceful place in your/the survivor's soul and mind are: a bath, going for a walk, meditation, painting, holding onto something from a teddy bear to a coin, etc. Do things in your/the survivor's current age and time eg school, work, hobbies, etc. From this beginning, you/the survivor can then strengthen this safe space simply by doing more of it and being creative. By simply reading this you are breaking cult rules to “not know about ritual abuse”. Usually being in ones current age ie 24 years old, 53 years old, etc is a good place to start obtaining ones own personal space as you are not in the programming of a younger age.
Seeing the Whole Picture.
An important phrase with multiple survivors is “When I see that I am multiple, then I am one”. In other words you/the survivor have gone further than being in one personality and seeing from his/her angle. The survivor can see the whole lot of the personalities and therefore see the whole person. It is very important to see yourself/the survivor as whole. For multiple personality part survivors, if you/the survivor are in one personality or swapping between personalities then you/the survivor can lose track of the whole picture. There could be a “hidden” personality or personalities who is/are being abused. It is important to look for and address all of your/the survivor personalities. You/the survivor needs to look after all of them. Don’t cause or continue any conflict. Give each part an equal reward and thanks in working on the programming. Sometimes you/the survivor needs to step back and imagine your/the survivor's whole self. Listen for all of the parts speaking. Personalities can give you information about the abuse and escape. Ask parts if they think the survivor is being accessed, if there are callbacks, if there has been any reprogramming, etc. Try to picture your whole self. It may seem like Swiss cheese as there are holes in the programming. These holes maybe accessing and are parts unable to speak as yet. There maybe a lot of answers and also parts whose role it is to stop you from getting the truth. Use your intuition to feel whether you have been told the truth. Also do not condemn personalities. They were tortured and lied to and just need to be cared for.
Care for all of your/the survivor self and which includes every part. You/the survivor needs to look after and care for your whole self. Parts with lies have only been lied to. They are not born liars. They could be led to believe that they should lie in order to “help you" or conversely that you “had done badly”. They were split off from you originally and in reality are you. They have been twisted around to suit the perpetrators. You need to reclaim you for you and stop the handler’s lies and contamination. They only lie because this is what they have been told to do. They would not do it ordinarily. Caring for them means listening to the parts lies, not accepting the lies, and explaining things in a non judgmental way. They need to know it is the despicable cult's fault. It means stopping the violence and lies done to them and who are really you. With parts that were created when you/the survivor were a young person it is important to understand your age at which they were done and care accordingly. This means extra deserving attention, doing appropriate caring things such as singing songs etc. Caring for whole of the survivor self also means being in the present and looking after your current age self. It means going for walks, eating healthy food, having good accommodation, etc. You/the survivor are looking after all of you.
We/survivors are People It is important to remember that we/survivors are people in the deprogramming. Sometimes we may forget that we are not robots or zombies which the cult would despicably like us to believe. When deprogramming, remember that personalities and the person are people with feelings and levels of understanding and knowledge. We need to look after these. Also feelings by themselves are not a safe and reliable guide. In deprogramming a lot of feelings come up. The cult abuses feelings a lot. Feelings are just feelings. They have no sense of truth or insight and can be manipulated. I was lied to so much that my “Mum was cult”. The cult produced a feeling of hatred by Me towards Mum. It was based on a lie and now I am angry at the cult for lying and which is a more correct emotion. Feelings are determined by much larger truth/lies. Even though feelings are not a reliable guide, we need to respect manipulated personalities and onesself. It is not our fault that we are lied to and so we need to be gentle in explaining to personalities and onesself that we have been lied to.
Memories Come Up When They Can Memories of when the programming was done come up when deprogramming. This happens as you/the survivor want to get rid of the programming and the underlying violence and lies. It is important to respect that you are bringing up memories when you can. You can work on them when you can. In times of stress such as first remembering the abuse and at call back times, you maybe flooded with memories. To try and understand things you may wish to bring back too much. If panicking and memory is flooding back ask yourself why. Is it because of accessing? A callback for ceremonies? etc. When the programming is understood it makes things easier. Eg the fear and dread felt on Saturday afternoon is because there is accessing then. One needs to respect ones abilities in dealing with memory. Too much memory can mean flooding, psychotic episodes and hospitalization. You need to say that you can only deal with so much and go into program management (see following).
Trusting you. The cult/organization and its programming methods of setups and electrocution etc where/are real. You can go back into these real memories and undo it. Sometimes the cult will lie on purpose such as abusing 3D images which were said to be “your family dying”, etc. Again it is important to see what was the reality. There were 3D images and cult members acting as family, etc. You can stop the 3D images by turning off the screen. You can stop the perpetrators acting by having a mask on and laying down poisonous gases so that they will die.
Getting the facts It is very important to get the facts and the reality when deprogramming. The cult abuses fiendish hypnosis, drugs, death threats, electrocution, etc to force and delude you into thinking something else. A common one is that "your brother/sister died". In fact, it could be a cult member masquerading as "your brother/sister". They, either your real brother/sister or the cult member, did not die. Another delusion you may be forced to think is that you "are ringing the cult at such and such a time". You need to check whether this is the case or not by knowing where you were at the time. You could be ringing but at a different time. Also ask why do I have this message from the cult? Why is the cult trying to deceive me? Is it because I am being accessed, but not at the time they specify? There quite definitely could be recent accessing. As said before feelings are not a safe and reliable guide and the cult/organization abuses feelings a lot. Look for the truth and not the feeling itself.
Deprogramming and General Life Deprogramming needs to be seen in relationship to life generally. You are pressured by work, studies, family, friends, relationships, shopping, etc. It is important to know when it is needed to deprogram. During stress times, coping with programming is very important and life generally needs to be well used such as being with trusted friends or telling unreliable friends that you can’t see them. Social functions need to be made less important, etc. It is important not to get triggered by similar looking cult/organization things/people which are not cult, and to not go near or do things that will trigger or do harm such as tall buildings.
Deprogramming and the Cult/Organization. Reclaiming Ourselves. Programming and deprogramming need to be put into a cult perspective in that they are specifically about the cult/organization. This is its function. It relates specifically to being accessed, being deployed, disclosure, disrupting support and cult/organization activities. The aims of the cult are to keep you under control. This is by accessing and reprogramming. The cult then want to deploy you in their cult activities. The survivor needs to separate from these. THESE CULT ACTIVITIES ARE NOT THE TOTALITY OF LIFE. WE CAN USE OUR TIME TO DEPROGRAM, WORK ON OTHER MEMORIES AND HAVE A NORMAL LIFE. Survivorship basically is about stopping the control and abuse and having a life that is our own. Even though we may not be conscious of it, our lives were controlled by perpetrators, and with recovery we find and reclaim ourselves so that we control ourselves. We find free will, we develop healthy relationships, we have a mind that is entirely our own, and we go wherever we want to and when we want to.
Call Back Stress Times As a reminder, call back times can be the most harrowing times for victims/survivors. The most important thing to remember is that it is only temporary. During this crisis period it is important to get all the support you can. Tell your friends, therapist, telephone crisis counsellor (eg Lifeline), etc that you want as much support as you can. This is your crisis period. Do whatever it takes to get you through the day and night. Whatever it takes to keep you safe and sane- scream, shout, ring Lifeline, have a bath, suck a dummy, etc. You did not choose to have this, as with all cult activities, put upon you. You can now choose to cope and not allow the programming to affect you.
Again these are what to do during a Crisis (From Beyond Survival magazine) Breathe. Breathe deeply and wriggle your toes. Rub your arms and legs. Blink hard. Keep eye contact with something such as your pet. Make a list of your reasons NOT to kill yourself. Read it. Give a copy to your friends to read out to you when needed. Be safe and warm. Put a blanket around you and cuddle a teddy bear. Hold onto your pet. Make a list of things you can do to make you feel better: go out for dinner, have a bath, read a book, suck on a dummy, go for a walk. Whatever works or feels right for you. Write in a journal. Ring a friend. Tell yourself that you are worth being loved. You are good. Be proud of having survived. The fact that you are still alive after all the torture shows what an amazingly strong person you are. Ring a crisis number and talk to them.
The Actual Process of Undoing Programming
Immersion and Staying Outside Immersion is going into the programming to understand how it functions. Staying outside is observing it from a distance. Both are important and you/the survivor needs to develop both and use them together in order to work through the programming. For example, you need to delve to feel the emotions, understand the personality parts etc and then to step back from them to get a perspective on what happens and what are lies etc. The immersion is the subjective- experiencing the personal, the memories, the mind, the intricacies of the programming, etc. When doing this you can rewind the "vcr" of the memories and tell off the perpetrators. Staying outside is the objective- the rational, the logical, the analysis of what is lies and truth, etc. It is where you can be disciplined and not allow the junk and lies to come in.
Program Management All of these tools are concerned with programming management or how to live your/the survivor's life with programming under reasonable control. Discipline, living in your current age, understanding what the fear and anxiety is that lies behind the deprogramming, etc can be very important in this. The panic to deprogram, particularly at call back and disclosure times, comes from the lie "that you or someone close to you will die". This is not the case. In the seventeen years that I have been surviving and from meeting over two hundred other survivors NO ONE has died. You/the survivor can discipline one/yourself with this truth and say "this is a lie and programming. I will not go into it." Or be rational and remember that “This callback also happened last year and no-one died because I did not return”. Sometimes discipline can seem too difficult and as normal human beings we are not perfect and can "do the best we can". This means having a "bum day" and not feeling bad.
Basic Tools These are general ways in which you/the survivor can help in deprogramming.
Being rational- does this makes sense;
Use intuition- this doesn’t feel right;
Getting feedback both internally from personalities and from others such as friends and a therapist;
Being flexible - knowing and doing the difference between undoing or coping;
Being eclectic or using all/many techniques;
Being sensible- eg is jumping off a bridge really going to set you free? The reality is that it will kill you;
Being clear – are things very confusing? This could be that the deprogramming is not working or that there is a personality who is afraid to speak because of a hold by the handler.
Most importantly - loving yourself/the survivor. As survivors we suffered some of the most horrific and despicable crimes against oneself. The true and real love of ones self is what has kept us alive and doing the deprogramming. This is so that we have a better life. Cherish this.
Always look for why you are deprogramming. It could be due to panic and anxiety over disclosing, escaping, stopping accessing, stopping callbacks for ceremonies, etc. Understanding the reasons for deprogramming anxiety gives a better perspective and helps slows things down. It also helps you to understand if you’re currently being accessed, reprogrammed, etc.
Never trust a programmer/cult/organization. They/he/she is/are always trying to deceive you for their selfishness. They only want you to be bound to them. They never ever “help you”. It is always for the cult/organization. They are selfish and manipulative in wanting you to do their criminal activities. To them you are merely a robot. They may sound “sweet” and “empathetic” but in reality they are all abusing you.
No-one will die. I have known over two hundred survivors and them and their loved ones have never died. The cults won’t kill off someone whom they can abuse which would normally include your family.
The memories are old and are not happening now. They are also manipulated memories which intend to deceive you. The cult and handler never helped you with the programming. They staged it so that they always come out “the winner” regardless of what really is the truth. They are trying to make out that they are “helpful”. By saying that “you must die” is not helpful. There was never a “savior”. They were all in this together and they all knew about the violence.
You have the right to live where you want and do what you want.
If you have innocent family and friends being non consciously abused by the cult, they are told lies about you and you do not need to listen to the lies which are really from the cult. The innocent family and friends are only repeating what they have been lied about. The innocent friends and family are not horrible people. You do not have to accept what innocent friends and family are told.
Be eclectic. Use all techniques and the appropriate ones. Depending on what your needs are- crisis, wanting to work on deep programming, wanting to remain calm, etc - use the technique/s that corresponds to your needs and wants.
This is from a well known and remarkable survivor who is also a friend Carol Rutz. She has written extensively about ritual abuse and has given papers at a university and conferences on ritual abuse. Her groundbreaking book A Nation Betrayed (http://www2.dmci.net/users/casey) is well read within the survivor community. This is from a speech she gave at the SMART (Stop Mind Control and Ritual Abuse Today) Conference in 2003. http://ritualabuse.us/smart-conference/conf03/healing-from-ritual-abuse-and-mind-control/
“I don’t believe there is only one way to deprogram. There is no right or wrong way. What is effective for one may be totally unworkable for someone else. I believe the key to deprogramming is Internal dialogue.”
Internal dialogue is talking with personalities about how to deprogram, what is causing a current crisis, if and when accessing occurs, what is stopping them from telling you the truth, what needs to be deprogrammed and how to go about doing it, etc. As Carol says it is extremely important. It is like talking with a community in order to understand a community’s problem.
Another Webpage about Deprogramming
This is another webpage about deprogramming to show that there is variety and that deprogramming is very personal. This one is by the Cheryl Rainfield and is at http://www.kalimunro.com/article_programming.html
There are two very important aspects to deprogramming. The first is that SELF HARM AND SUICIDE ARE PROGRAMS. THEY ARE NOT NATURAL. DON’T BELIEVE THE PROGRAM. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ARE CAUSED BY PROGRAMMING. IF THERE WAS NO PROGRAMMING THERE WOULD BE NO SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
The second is to TELL THE PERSONALITY WHO IS PROGRAMMED TO SUICIDE IS THAT SHE OR HE WILL DIE TOO. EVERYONE DIES.
A person stops deprogramming when there is no need to work on the programming. This mean s/he is not constantly affected by programming and abuse memories. S/he is not being accessed, reprogrammed and deployed. Signs that a person has deprogrammed are: not acting out greatly eg not seeing similar looking people today as being the same as the perpetrators; not seriously falling into the same patterns of abuse eg sexual compulsion; can really account for their time and so is not being accessed and deployed; is not compulsed to do things such as instantly “going on a holiday” which is a sign of deployment ie couriering information; etc. It is very important to be in touch with ones emotions and being responsible for them. If adults, it means having a normal adult life- studying, working, parenting, leisure, community pursuits, etc; Being deprogrammed means that the programming is either not there anymore or is not functioning.
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